Bristol Palin Urticates Olbermann
Does anyone believe that Bristol Palin wrote this? Recently, a left wing commentator named Keith Olbermann attacked me for being a spokesperson for abstinence education and for being an Ambassador for...
View ArticleTnight in Music: The Books, Curren$y, Rose Bent, and more
THE BOOKS, BLACK HEART PROCESSION (Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) NYC sound collagists the Books bring their immaculately crafted, speech-sampling sounds through town tonight for a one-of-a-kind...
View ArticleTonight in Music: The Books, Curren$y, Rose Bent, and more
THE BOOKS, BLACK HEART PROCESSION (Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) NYC sound collagists the Books bring their immaculately crafted, speech-sampling sounds through town tonight for a one-of-a-kind...
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What Models Make
If you've ever fantasized that if you just had the right bone structure you could be living in a luxury loft and jetting around the world on a near-constant basis, well... you're right, you can. But...
View ArticleA Legal Notice to Cease and Desist from Wm. Steven Humphrey
Dear person reading this: It has come to my attention there have been a number of you—let's say that number is "eight"—who have been flagrantly stealing and repeating my newest copyrighted...
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My First Pull Quote!
Hey, remember that Liberal Clause book I made so much hay from? It just keeps giving. On the official Liberal Clause website (freedomsanswer.com, naturally) Mr. Hendrick has added a quote from my...
View ArticleSL Letter of the Day: Do We Invite The Daughter's Ex For Christmas?
My youngest daughter is a lesbian and recently ended a five-year relationship, her longest yet. Feelings between my daughter and her ex-girlfriend are still very raw. To my knowledge they haven't been...
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What Models Make
If you've ever fantasized that if you just had the right bone structure you could be living in a luxury loft and jetting around the world on a near-constant basis, well... you're right, you can. But...
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"Anti-Portland Police" is Now a Music Genre
I thought it was crazy a few months ago when an album by an anti-Portland Police themed band was dropped on my desk: Tazer Crazy by band Five-O. But now I've come into possession of a new album by an...
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Hey Haters! There's a New Anti-Portland Police Album Out!
I thought it was crazy a few months ago when an album by an anti-Portland Police themed band was dropped on my desk: Tazer Crazy by band Five-O. But now I've come into possession of a new album by an...
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It's Happening Tonight!
CONTACT HIGH—Long before Ke$ha gave copy editors fits with her ridiculous dollar-sign name, New Orleans emcee Curren$y was laying down colossal rap jams with his relaxed, down-South drawl. Joining him...
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Queer Coat Drive!
Upset about yesterday's news that Portland Rescue Mission did not want to accept donations of coats from a queer event? Never fear, the Queer Coat Drive is here! Jefferey Darling, the organizer of the...
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Tonight in Music
Aladdin Theater—The Books, Black Heart Procession, 8 pm, $20, all ages Alberta Rose Theatre—Black Prairie, Old Light, Ritchie Young, 9 pm, $12 Backspace—Rose Bent, Speaker Minds, King Wolveryne, Rich...
View ArticleAmazon Under Fire for Dropping WikiLeaks
Amazon Web Services issued a statement explaining why they dropped WikiLeaks from their servers, saying "It’s clear that WikiLeaks doesn’t own or otherwise control all the rights to this classified...
View ArticleThe Cast of A Christmas Story: Creepy or Adorable?
The kids from "A Christmas Story"! from Portland Center Stage on Vimeo. They sound just like little grownups, all smart and poised and articulate. I don't like it. Fucking drama kids. I saw the show a...
View ArticleThe Only Reason Anyone Should Ever Listen to "Let it Be"
George from Seinfeld? Check. Carlton from Fresh Prince? Check. Steve Guttenberg? Check. Tubbs from Miami Vice? Check. Tonya Harding? Check. Audrey Horn from Twin Peaks? Check. The guy who played...
View ArticleMercury Charity Auction Item(s) of the Day: Backyard Chicken Farming,...
As you all know, our annual charity auction is currently online. There are tons of incredible items available for bidding, with all proceeds benefiting the kind souls at the nonprofit Raphael House, a...
View ArticleA Perfect Metaphor for the Mercury
Want to know what it's like to work for the Mercury? Here's what it's like to work for the Mercury. Any question [ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]
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Download Episode 21 of the Mercury Music Hour
Stop everything you are doing right now! And listen to the brand new Mercury Music Hour. Trust me, this is more important. We worked kinda hard on it... kinda. The Mercury Music Hour cand be heard...
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Yes, Yes, Y'all, It's My Last Day
Welp, it's my last day as a Mercury Intern, which means so many things: 1) I can finally look my boss, Wm.™ Steven Humphrey, directly in the eyes (he has a strict "interns will not look me in the eye"...
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