For all the flowery language and doodads that accompany Valentine's Day tchotchkes, there is something to be said for the clear message sent on this Tender Loving Empire tee:

Of course, keep in mind that the wearer will in turn broadcast this message to anyone who glances their way, perhaps warranting some discretion (strip club yes, Gypsy Jokers biker rally eh). On the other hand it could hardly worsen your customer service experience at the DMV...