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Mercury Turns Birds All Gay and Shit

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Blogtown consulting detective Graham emailed us the following very intriguing headline:

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Now I have no need to read the accompanying story, because I already know that this theory is categorically TRUE. Our newspaper does turn ibises—as well as other wetland birds—homosexual. And for reasons I can't begin to fathom, it also seems to turn Maltipoos straight. BUT!

WHAT DOES THE MERCURY TURN YOU INTO?

Thanks, Graham!

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