A few nights ago I got drunk and knocked on my roommate's door and confessed my attraction to him while he was lying in bed in nothing more than his skivvies. (It was dark and I stayed at the door so I didn't know that until after the fact.) And then I asked him if I could sleep in his room because our other roommate—whose bedroom is directly above mine—was having sex so loudly that I couldn't sleep. Which was true but it clearly didn't not make the roommate I was drunkenly confessing to's bed the appropriate alternative and makes me an asshole to the roommate who actually has a sex life. Not being able to sleep on work nights is sometimes a real problem, but one to be addressed with her, not used as drunken fodder to get into someone else's bed.I feel pathetic and embarrassed for having thrown myself at my roommate, completely freaked out that I got wasted enough to do something I have daydreamed about but wouldn't do sober, but much more importantly, I think my behavior did not reflect active consent, trashed my roommate's boundaries and was generally creepy—all characteristics of sexual assaulters.
I am biologically female and if the situation were reversed I would commit a huge double standard because I would back any woman who did not feel safe continuing to live with a dude who did what I did. I feel like I should be held accountable and move out immediately though my housemate has told me he doesn't feel threatened and that I should stay.
Help. I feel like a total piece of shit for having done this and can't stop wondering,
Am I A Sexual Predator?
My response after the jump...