I’m a 21-year-old gay man and have been with my boyfriend of the same age for 2 years now. I have an average-to-high sex drive and until now we have only had oral sex, which I should add has been amazing. I would like to try having anal with him as either the top or bottom, however he is totally uninterested.I love him loads but I spoke to him today about us having anal sex and he said he was fed up with being asked about it and that he didn’t want to talk about anything to do with anal sex anymore and that he felt emotionally blackmailed and harassed by the text messages I have sent him in the past about it and that he has no interest in having anal sex with me ever. He then said that he didn’t care if I did the anal stuff with someone else as long as I didn’t keep going on about it to him. He then said he loves me, so I asked him what he meant by that and he said he was romantically in love with me but not sexually in love with me. He then went on to say that lately he has been thinking about the future and more and more of his future plans have just involved him alone, even though he cannot imagine me not being in his life as he loves me and he doesn’t want to break up.
I don’t know what to do, should I just let go of the whole anal thing as you have said that many gay men are very happy with sex lives without any penetrative sex and the oral sex is great. Should I stay with him but do the anal stuff with other people, which I don’t really want to do as I would much prefer to have sex with my boyfriend but he isn’t interested. Or is our relationship already over and we should just officially end it and become good friends?
Perplexed Gay Boy
My response after the jump...