These all came today—in a row—and I'm going to run 'em because, hey, I'm not limber enough to blow myself...
Thank you for posting a response to my question about my boyfriend's fantasies in our sex life (Not Good Enough, December 30). While answering my question, you asked me one that I would like to answer. You wrote: "I've never understood people who are up for anything with someone they're into—dirty talk, crazy sex, groups (real or imagined)—up until the moment they fall in love with that person." Maybe it's just a stupid girl thing, but before love came into the picture I liked hearing about his sexual adventures and I loved the fantasies that involved other people because I didn't care if those feelings would lead him to find other people. Once I realized that I deeply cared for this person, I started having insecure thoughts, like these fantasies are so profound in his sexuality that I wouldn't be good enough for him and that I would lose him. This insecurity took away what turned me on about the fantasy of other people. But once again you were right. If I really love him, I have no right to tell him to forget about what turns him on. The truth is I still like our fantasy play, I was just concerned that it was never just between him and me - but he's been with me for four years and he has listened to my concerns. The last several times we've been intimate it was just about us and we both loved it. He has made me feel very loved and I, once again, feel comfortable continuing both of our sexual fantasies.I can't thank you enough for opening my eyes about what love really is about. We do love and trust each other and we will continue to live out our fantasies.
More Than Good Enough