In December 1991, Mojo Nixon and his band, the Toadliquors, holed up in Memphis, guzzling their way through 16 drunken, bawdy Christmas classics and originals—Horny Holidays is crass, raunchy, and at times totally idiotic, but it's held together with such a fuck-it-all honesty and one-take brilliance that it works. Probably just intending on making a fun record to drink and blow off the holidays to, Mojo and the Toadliquors stumbled their way to the best worst Christmas album of all time.
From beginning—a tongue-in-cheek sing-a-long of "Happy Birthday, Dear Jesus"—to end—a porno-funk groove with chants of "Fuckin' is better than killin'!"—Nixon splits the difference between street urchin and preacher. Always (terribly) off-key and irreverent, he's still clearly singing what remains of his head off. I'm pretty sure this record is way out of print, so there are not one, but three streaming stocking-stuffers for you today. Nixon admits at the beginning of "Good King Wenceslas" that he doesn't know the words, but leads a round of triumphant fa-la-las anyway. He gives Karloff a slimy run for his money on "Mr. Grinch", and then there's "We Three Kings"—among some of Nixon's (many) original words contributed to the song:"We were drunk for three days straight, feeling like we were Tom Waits." God bless us, every one! Get drunk y'all!
LISTEN:
Mojo Nixon and the Toadliquors - "Good King Wenceslas"
LISTEN:
Mojo Nixon and the Toadliquors - "Mr. Grinch"
LISTEN:
Mojo Nixon and the Toadliquors - "We Three Kings"