After breaking up with my boyfriend of six years, we tried to remain friends. During this awkward period, he ended up molesting me twice—once at a concert when he wouldn't stop rubbing his erection against my ass and another time when he thought I was asleep and touched me between my legs. I never addressed this partly because I still felt guilty about cheating on him for a month, thus prompting the break up, and partly because it just seemed like too much to handle at the time. The ex and I haven't talked in almost two years, and that's fine, but now I'm hearing that he's interested in a friend of mine. I'm mildly disturbed because if I concede that his behavior towards me was a deviation, then I'm defending his behavior. If I accept that he only acted that way toward me and he won't hurt anyone else, then it's as if I'm saying I deserved to be molested (and punished) for infidelity. I feel like if I say anything at all, all my friends will think I'm making this up to get back at the ex. While he does make me want to vomit, I don't want to ruin his life, yet I'd feel like such a hypocrite for being against sexual abuse and victim-blaming while knowing my friend is going out with someone who touched me when I didn't want to be touched.Guilty Victim Will Not Be Trusted
My response—very brief and ill-considered—is after the jump.