Hey, guess who's been shit-canned? Pissed-off, emergency-sliding, beer-stealing flight attendant Steven Slater. A JetBlue spokeswoman relayed the news that Slater is no longer working for the airline, even though he'd hoped to one day be back on the job. He's been hailed as a hero for bitching out a bitchy passenger, but another side of the story has since emerged. One passenger said Slater started the tiff that led to his famous exit, while others complained he'd been a bit of an asshole throughout the flight.
Speaking of shit-canned: Desperation is settling in over Democrats in Washington. In a bid to divert money to where it will be most effective, they'll be studying poll numbers and other scraps of sad data to figure out which puppies (by puppies, of course, I mean "incumbents") they ought to drown. Even still, this guy is probably our next speaker.
How bad does this suck? You get hit by a car, the fire department shows up, and then, months later, the fire department sends you a bill. A bill you have open your wallet to pay, because your insurance company inexplicably won't. As city and county budgets remain pinched, accident victims are increasingly being asked by police and fire departments to kick down.
The Palins put up a giant fence and told him to get bent. But neighbors in Wasilla came by with blueberry pies to slice and handguns to lend. Author Joe McGinniss is leaving Alaska, and the house next door to the Palin clan, to write his book on the family. He said if someone really wanted to spy on 'em, "all they have to do is get a boat and park 10 yards off shore"—the Palins live on a lake—"and they can sit there all day and look at the Palin's yard."
Two million gallons of chemical dispersant were pumped into the Gulf of Mexico, ostensibly to make things better, and faster. But whether all that solvent was helpful or not, or even whether it's worse than the oil it's supposed to eat, isn't known.
The White House is about to launch a bailout program for underwater homeowners—the values of the homes would be written down, and then Uncle Sam would take on the loans. The timing is pretty crucial, given that the housing market remains unable to hoist itself from the toilet bowl.
Amid allegations that scads of ill-gotten pounds are being funneled to drug runners and terrorists, Scotland Yard's probe of Pakistani cricketers' ties to criminal gambling operations is taking a disturbing turn.
Kanye West finds another way to crowd into Taylor Swift's spotlight, and MTV finds a new way to milk an overdone Facebook meme. To atone for his inspired turn at last year's Video Music Awards—coincidentally, no doubt, just as MTV starts hyping this year's—Kanye says he's written a song for Taylor that he hopes she accepts. But if not, he'll sing it himself.
Incidentally, this is what a real goof on live TV looks like: